Hello again my fellow insecure writers! Today I am posting an updated version of a former blog post that fits this group well. I hope you enjoy "The Anti-Muse".
I’m settling into the easy chair by
the TV and the only sound I hear is the gentle hum of my computer and the purr
of my sleeping cat. I pull up my latest
work-in-progress and a few sentences in, I hear it: the anti-muse.
Unlike the soft and sweet whisper
of the muse, the anti-muse yells with a raspy voice of steel wool that will rip
into your heart and tear out your hopes and dreams.
“You fool!” He screams.
“You’re no writer. You’re just a simpleton trying to put words together
into sentences no one wants to read.
Just look at your blog. Zero
readers this week. ZERO! ZILCH! NADA! No
one wants to read your rubbish.”
“So I’m in a bit of a slump,” I
say. “But anyone can write. It’s just putting thoughts into words with a
little creativity.”
“Anyone can write garbage!” He snides. “And let’s face it;
you have the creativity of a white crayon on white paper. Just read the trash you have so far. I don’t even know which incompetence I should
point out first! You used their instead of they’re, the whole scene is unrealistic, and your characters have
no personality!”
“I see what you mean but…”
“You couldn’t sell a
well-researched essay to the richest slacker on earth! Let alone sell a novel
to a reader. You should have stuck to
the wise advice ‘write what you know’; which in your case means nothing!”
“I just thought this would be an interesting…”
“Well, it’s not!” He interrupts. “It’s less interesting than your grey-clad
algebra teacher with the monotone voice.
I mean seriously! Where is this plot going anyway? I know. It’s either going nowhere or it’s
going straight to….”
“STOP IT! JUST STOP IT!” I yell back.
“It’s a draft, D-R-A-F-T,
draft. It’s supposed to be rough! Yes, I have a long way to go on it, but I’m
just starting to get my ideas down.”
“No! I’ll probably revise it a few more times, get
it critiqued, revise again, and keep repeating the process until you shut up. Now leave me alone! I need to write some more garbage. For all you know it could turn into gold once
it’s refined in the fires of revision.”
Your anti-muse is great - a character who is oddly familiar to me :P Though my anti-muse is not as eloquent as yours. Top marks for the nice uplifting ending too.
ReplyDeleteThe painting at the start is great too. Thanks for this. Cheers
LOL! I love the "I need to write some more garbage!" Yeah! More garbage! Love it! Love this Samantha! Happy to meet you!
ReplyDeleteHI, Samantha...
ReplyDeleteNice to meet you... LOVE the anti-muse. Great voice there,
I'd like to follow you, but there is no follow button. You can find it when you go into design and press gadgets. More bloggers need to read you. I really enjoyed your sense of humor.
Michael
Thanks! Which gadget am I looking for?
DeleteI love your Anti Muse! You could do a series with him! So true to a lot of us.
ReplyDeleteThank you for visiting my IWSG post.