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August 2, 2013

Brides Beware!

Congratulations!  You just got engaged and you’re ready to tell all your friends the wonderful news.  However there is danger ahead.  You are about to face an onslaught of questions that you will not know the answer to unless you are a professional wedding planner or Martha Stewart. 
The first question isn’t so bad.  Most brides-to-be have at least a general idea on how to answer the question “So when’s the big day?”  Some however, don’t have a date in mind.  They just know they want to spend the rest of their lives with this person so…six months to a year?  After I graduate?  Or my personal answer in this lovely economy: “When he finds a job.”
Next you are required to be a fashion expert.  You would figure an appropriate answer to “What kind of dress will you wear?” would be “A pretty white one with a little poof, but not too much poof and maybe a little beading.”  That’s not good enough.  You will get asked “You mean like a Basque waist, or A-line, or a princess cut? Or maybe you mean just at the bottom like a mermaid cut?”  And that doesn’t include accessories like the all-important veil. “A birdcage or a blusher would look great on you!  You’re probably thinking more of a flyaway or a mantilla, right?  You’d never go cathedral though.”  What language are they speaking anyway?
So now that you know you are a failure at all things fashion, you start to think about the flowers you want to have.  “Lilies are so pretty,”  you think.  But what kind of lilies? Orienpents, Aurelians, or Martagons?  So maybe some simple roses instead…Albertine, Ballarina, or Cadenza?  You start wondering at what point you were considered a botanist.
What about food?  Food is easy, right?  You loved the steaks from the caterers that did your cousin’s wedding.  Yet there are still questions.  “Isn’t you’re sister-in-law-to-be a strict vegan?  And your maid-of-honor is Jewish, so is that kosher?  Aren’t you afraid of mad-cow disease?”  It should not be this complicated.
So I recommend either getting your wedding planning degree or get used to saying “I have no idea and I’m okay with that.”  Because everyone will insist that you have to know otherwise your entire wedding is going to be a disaster and your fiancé will leave you because of your incompetence and your family will disown you.  It's a lie.  Just take your wedding planning one step at a time and only take opinions if they were solicited.  Enjoy your special day!

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